Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize