R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
