ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
