I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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