It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize