That's when you crack a 10am beer
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
