I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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