I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
