Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize