so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We got so high we made milksteak
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
