I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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