I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
