just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it because I queefed?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
