Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
