Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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