Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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