Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

Umm I'm too high to move.

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(407): View more from Florida

Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

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(240): View more from Maryland

Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?

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(319): View more from Iowa

i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.

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