Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
