careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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