I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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