you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
