Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
