I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you will always have a special place in my vag
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
