You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
