Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.

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(703): View more from Virginia

positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier

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(703): View more from Virginia

Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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(907): View more from Alaska

On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face

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(214): View more from Texas

I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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(904): View more from Florida

I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?

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