operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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