U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
