im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
