we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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