How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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