I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
