i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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