Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
