I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
