that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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