her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
