yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
