My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
