What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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