super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
