Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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