used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
