I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
