Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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