brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
