Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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