so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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