When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
