Buhtt sex?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
