...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You dont lie about slip and slides
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize