I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
