Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
