First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
