how can u be prego again
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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