# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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