You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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