I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I see more hoeing in ur future
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
