When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
