My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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