Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
